| Dear Grublings, | ||||
| 02:20pm 14/07/2009 | ||||
Please stop carousing around my uterus like it's a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit. I do not care how magical and fun it might be in there. I don't care if there are unicorns and dancing bunnies and a mechanical bull. Please stop. A little activity is cute. Feeling you jump when a siren goes by is always a good time. Getting tickled from the inside is weird but okay. When you kick me so hard I can feel my kidneys swelling? No. That has to stop. Despite your fantastical uterine home, you need to start learning a little consideration for others. Kick Daddy for a while instead. Love, Mommy |
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| (6 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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busy| Pregnancy Update | ||||
| 12:28pm 10/07/2009 | ||||
( Lots of see-through grubling pictures here. And what I think is a very funny story. ) |
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| (4 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Second awesome sex interview | ||||
| 11:40pm 08/07/2009 | ||||
Look for me in the October issue of Playboy. No pictures, obviously, but I did have an interview today about doing bizarre fetish phone sex. They're sending me a free copy when it comes out in September. :) Awesome. |
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| (2 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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cheerful| SUV or truck or minivan? | |||
| 11:11pm 29/06/2009 | |||
| Anybody got a big 'ol car they might be able to help us transport some furniture in? | |||
| Fans | |||
| 10:40am 24/06/2009 | |||
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So our a/c is vaguely semi-functional. It's about 5 degrees cooler inside than it is out (except in our wonderfully cave-like kitchen) but the air is basically stagnant. And still humid as hell. If anyone has a fan they can spare, that would be pretty awesome right about now. |
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| (2 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| For Your Viewing Pleasure: | ||||||
| 06:28pm 22/06/2009 | ||||||
Barefoot, pregnant, and heading into the kitchen to cook. All I'm missing is a chain. Since this picture was taken- we have A/C!!! Hooray! I expect to be much more comfortable tomorrow. Again, the musical choice is a pure coincidence. We're still trying to get through the whole collection in alphabetical order by song. This is as far as we've gotten- we've been at it since February. |
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| (4 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Owning a home is hard work. | ||||
| 09:07am 17/06/2009 | ||||
Long, long day. Yesterday was, without a doubt, worse. I had two separate trips to Home Depot, I ran out to buy a thing from craigslist, went by the old place to empty the fridge (left the eggs- oops), AND I dealt with an amazing amount of fuck-up-ery. It seems the Comcast guy stole our hammer and the movers stole our level. I spent all day running around in circles. In the pouring rain. Before Mike left work, I sent him this message, shared here for your reading pleasure: Hello love, First of all, remember that all of this is at least as frustrating for me as it is for you. I have been here dealing with every damn moment of it, and I do NOT want to have a conversation when you come home about how frustrated you are. I know how frustrated you'll be, and remember that I'm ready to curl into a ball and cry until I'm allowed to drink again. We still do not have a functional dryer. We should THEORETICALLY have one on Thursday. They wouldn't install them until the gas company put the valve on. The gas company came out (I lied and told them it was an emergency- pled pregnant when the dude showed up) and would NOT put the valve on, insisting that the Sears guys SHOULD have. The oven does work, though. Mel knows how to do it, in theory, but it involves buying pipe wrenches and teflon putty. HVAC has been rescheduled again for Friday morning. The Comcast guy fucked up a pipe in the utility closet. Mel has staunched the leak, and I have called Comcast. They will be sending somebody out in the next few days to assess the damage to decide how much they're going to reimburse us for the damage. In the meantime, Mel cleaned up after the Comcast guy's job (i.e. tacked the cords to the wall the way they SHOULD have been in order to keep them dry and stuffed some paper towel around the pipe (which is only dripping- not pouring water or anything) to keep the floor relatively dry). She says it looks like he just knocked it loose where it's screwed in wherever it's screwed in, but in order to fix it we're going to have to have somebody cut a hole in the wall. I'm thinking we may actually want to call Steve. A different plumber- NOT Jose- will be here Thursday morning to install/shuffle our toilets. I bought the shelves. They appear just as sturdy as I had thought they would be, and I am planning on installing them into the wall this evening. Mel and Michelle are currently prepping our new shelves and starting to fix our living room floor so we can at least put the boxes of books away in the living room. Beth just showed up, she's helping out. So that's something good. I actually found a REALLY good match on a mis-mixed can of paint for $1. Win on one, then. So to sum up: Pros: Working internet More shelving Mostly fixed floor Fixed sink Fixed under sink cabinet Fixed shower fixture in 2nd bathroom Functional oven Cons: Leaking pipe due to Comcast fuck up No working dryer- still not sure if we EVER will have one if it's up to the installers No A/C for another few extra days Missing computer mice Still no cell phone charger for Lea I love you. Please be calm when you come home so I don't crack up. <3 PB & G's |
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| (7 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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tired| Technically moved | ||||
| 09:02pm 15/06/2009 | ||||
Yeah, internet at the new place. Mel and a friend came into town from Cleveland to unpack us. They're doing an amazing job. Pictures to come when we're close enough that I'm willing to break into my stash of celebratory Girl Scout cookies. Damn close though. Getting closer. On our way to Lowe's now to buy a new toilet. Home ownership is fun. |
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| (7 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Moving moving moving leaving | ||||
| 12:33am 13/06/2009 | ||||
Our new condo is full of boxes of our possessions. Our old apartment is a mess, scattered with stuff we actually want. A lot of work left to do. Where am I now? In Michigan, hanging out with my mom. She's doing VERY well. She's still very tired and on a lot of pain killers, but the pathology is back from her surgery. She is being considered completely cancer free. I can't tell you how relieved I am. The fewer people in my life living with cancer, the better. I think we can all agree on that. Of course, living with it is better than the alternative. So I'm also extremely grateful for... well... the rest of my life. Next week- unpacking and more cleaning, as well as a half dozen visits from contractors and installation guys. A week from today- we drive to Minnesota for a wedding. Summer of doom. A side note: we SHOULD be getting the internet at our place on Monday, but that's not a promise that I'll be accessible. After all, I'll have to dig out the computer and cords and find a place for them to live. So... next update = someday. Cheers! |
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| (1 unintentionally hilarious moment of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| 08:49am 08/06/2009 | ||||
No idea what to do. Later today I'll go take a look and see if there's a solution. But honestly, if there's one room we have to completely re-do, that's the BEST choice. After all, we've got another four or five months to do it. We might have Mike's parents help us repaint it when they come to visit for the 4th of July. They're awesome painters, and Mike's mom especially wants to help us out. The rest of it looks great. I'm putting a second coat on the third bedroom today, and on the spare bathroom tomorrow. After the plumber has come and gone. Then on Thursday... we move! And then we visit my mom. On the topic of my mom- she's doing very well. She's very happy to be home, and her incisions are feeling much better. Mostly it's the surgical side effects that are bothering her now. She's been told it will take her twice as long as she had expected to recover, but I think that's a good thing. My mom has needed to take a break for twenty five years. Now that she's on doctor's orders to chill out and take it easy, I sincerely hope she does. She's earned it. I can't wait to see her. Next week, unpacking and rearranging furniture. Then, to Minnesota for Mike's uncle's wedding and to see Mike's favorite cousin, who we haven't seen in ages. He lives in Boston, so our paths don't cross much. After that, replacing/fixing broken things and buying missing things. The next week new furniture (god i hate going to Ikea), and then the 4th and probably repainting the grublings' room. And then maybe we can have a housewarming party. In the meantime, I HURT! Oh my god, do I hurt. My feet have been throbbing for three days, my lower back is seriously pissed, and my hips are rebelling against all this work by completely freezing. In the evenings I turn into Frankenstein's monster, hobbling around without bending my knees hardly at all to keep from aggravating the screaming pain along my sciatic nerve. Which, of course, is making my calves take on most of the brunt of walking, which is a LOT harder than you might think. Just try walking like you have rickets for a little bit, and see if you can tell what I mean. So everything from the waist down aches, and everthing between my neck and fingertips feels sort of swollen, and I had an allergic reaction to the hooks on one of my wonderful gigantic bras, so I've got a nice big semi-open sore in the middle of my back as well. And I am so glad that this is almost over. Just another week or so until I can go back to something similar to my old routine, and then in another few months I can abandon it entirely to the grublings. |
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| (5 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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sore| Good God. | ||||
| 12:24am 07/06/2009 | ||||
Yesterday, it was only 14 hours. No nap, though. So far, TC's come by to help both days for a few hours. My friend Sam came by yesterday for a few hours. Yesterday for most of the day it was just me and the mother-in-law, with Mike joining in later. Today, the three of us were joined by my father-in-law as well. ...and that's it. Miraculously, we've managed to finish painting (although NOWHERE near making livable) two rooms. We have come pretty close to finishing another three. There are four left, and NOTHING is clean enough to really habitate. And tomorrow is Sunday, and we're losing the in-laws around noon. IF we work another 16 or 17 hour day tomorrow, I think we might get close to finishing the painting. Maybe. And then, maybe, I can actually get the place clean enough so that when the movers come on Thursday, we'll be able to just abandon our boxes of stuff to go see my mom. Oh yes- my mother had her surgery yesterday. It went very well. The cancer was neatly encapsulated in a small area, and she's currently recovering and fairly miserable. They kept her an extra day at her insistence, and she'll be going home on strict bed rest tomorrow. My father is a complete emotional wreck, being aided by my emotionally volatile and frequently hysterical sister. It's a nuthouse over there. Cleaning/painting an entire apartment in DRASTIC need in only a few days while pregnant/disabled..? Sucks. I'm gonna go puke and sleep now. Hopefully not at the same time. |
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| (6 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Hooray!!!! | ||||
| 03:50pm 04/06/2009 | ||||
THE MOVE IS ON!!!!!!! |
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| (4 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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ecstatic| Babies' sexes! | ||||
| 04:33pm 03/06/2009 | ||||
( Sexes! ) |
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| (5 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| News! | ||||
| 12:28pm 03/06/2009 | ||||
Oh- and a great icon: |
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| (5 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Dippy | ||||
| 02:57pm 02/06/2009 | ||||
 Still working on getting the other uploaded to Picasa. She was a good, good dog. I miss her. |
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| Useless plea | ||||
| 10:24am 29/05/2009 | ||||
Please stop making me vomit. I really don't like it, and if you have any hopes of getting a car, computer, or pony from me, you are NOT assisting your cause. Knock it off. From now on, each time I throw up I'm taking a dollar out of your college fund. Then every time you make a student loan payment, you can remember that I spent a few miserable months puking because you just HAD to occupy my uterus. Honestly, grublings, I thought we had gotten past this. You're big fetuses now, you need to start accepting some responsibility. Love, Mommy |
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| (5 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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sick| Getting rid of stuff | |||
| 02:22pm 28/05/2009 | |||
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If you want any of this, let me know. If it's still here on Saturday, I'm freecycling it. Bar Stools Small Bookshelf Medium Bookshelf Large Bookshelf Hutch/Bar Gigantic Mirror Of course, for friends it's all free. So, no worries for you. Just come and get it. |
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| (2 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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| Doctor's orders | ||||
| 09:19am 27/05/2009 | ||||
Quoth the doctor, "You are to live on saltines and milkshakes alone." "But doctor," say I, "I am to eat healthy food! I am to ingest protein and iron and many whole grains!" "Nay," replieth she. "You must drink milkshakes. And crackers you must eat. Ne'er shall your hand be without shaken milk in any variety of flavor, ne'er shall your lips part to allow what is not saltines to be chew'd and digested." "Madness!" I persist, "Doctor, might I not have baked potatoes? Are I not permitted to drink tea and juice? "Silence, fiend!" She cried out, "Silence! Goest thou to a malt shop! To Baskin Robbins with thee!" Then, despite all reason and protest, she scheduled me for ANOTHER echocardiogram and extra EKGs, and sent me on my way without validating my parking. x-posted |
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| (4 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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awake| I love my husband | ||||
| 11:34am 23/05/2009 | ||||
Due to the confusion of if/when/will we be moving, we didn't make any plans. Also, due to the financial crunch we're currently in, I didn't think there was any plan to exchange gifts. Well, Mike got me a gift. As it's our paper anniversary, he got me tickets. To what, did you ask? I'm going to Fiddler on the Roof on Chicago Broadway! Starring TOPOL!!!!! I am so freakin' happy. :) Update: I've caved and bought Mike an anniversary present. Tickets to the White Sox/Pirates game tonight. I found some unused season tickets for the upper boxes on craigslist for crazy cheap. Freakin' awesome. So what it's the Pirates? Mike is just as anxious to see them beat the White Sox as I am. :) Paper anniversary is great! |
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| Serendipity "Dippy" Borenstein: 1995-2009 | ||||||
| 12:38pm 21/05/2009 | ||||||
My father called this morning. My parents put our family dog to sleep. My family moved to Michigan full time in the summer of 1995. We were a cat family, much to my father's disappointment. He had a dog when he was a kid, and always wanted us to have a dog as well. No matter how much my mother disliked HIS childhood dog. Each time one of the children in my family reached six years old, we were told we were old enough to accept some responsibility, and we could pick out a pet. We always got kittens. So before my parents adopted any of the tag-along children we would bring home through our adolescences, we five moved to Michigan to be as close as possible to our family property- 110 acres of Great Lakes woodlands on the site of an old quarry owned by my great-grandfather's company back when my grandmother was a child. When my great-grandfather died, my mother inherited the property, and at the first available chance the whole family picked up from New Jersey to get as close to it as possible. After settling somewhat in our new home, we took our first trip "up north" to Guppy Lake. At the end of the three hour drive we arrived to a somewhat alarming sight- there was a large dog waiting for us in the driveway. This dog, dubbed at the time "Bullwinkle," looked to our family a small moose. She was a big dog even then, and she won our hearts immediately. Our first trip to the vet showed us that not only was she female, necessitating a name change, but she was only a puppy. After a family conference, we decided to keep the dog, and rename her "Serendipity," for the good fortune that brought her into our lives. "Dippy" for short, as she certainly was a dippy dog. She was terrified of the water, fiercely protective of her new family, and quite bright about learning fun new tricks. Through the years, my family adopted many more dogs- usually as an effort to get "friends for Dippy." We never loved any of them the way we did Dippy. Jagger, our second dog, was an annoying animal we mostly just put up with for the twelve years of our association. Chewy, the pomeranian, didn't last long enough to really become a fixture in our home. Ruthless, Shana's dog, never got along too well with Dippy, and we always resented her for it. Other dogs came and went, and miraculously Dippy just kept aging along with our family. Dippy had been getting slowly unhealthier for the last three or four years. She was a big dog, and they come with their own set of troubles. Her hips finally gave out this morning, and when my parents discovered that she was absolutely unable to stand on her own anymore, they took her to the vet to have her put to sleep. I am very grateful that I took my trip to Michigan a few weeks ago, because I did get to spend some quality time with my dog. She's the only dog I've ever considered mine, despite that she was always decidedly a family pet. I have never felt closer to another dog in my life. Dippy was a good dog. I'm sure that's how she would like to be remembered. I have photos somewhere of her wearing stuffed antlers, and memories of her heroically saving small rocks from the very shallows of Guppy Lake. I will miss her dearly every time I visit my parents, and I am not greeted by a big, wet dog nose to the face. In a few weeks, it is my family's plan to scatter her ashes outside the house at Guppy Lake, in the place where we first found her. I think it would make her happy to relive the moment when she first found her family every time we arrive, forever. ...I miss my good dog. |
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| (3 unintentionally hilarious moments of minor human tragedy |slip on a banana peel) |
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